When you squeeze him, he says things like, "Screw milk and cookies. Where's the whiskey?" and "Squeeze me any harder, I'll drop a yule log."
Nasty Santa is the merchandization of one of JibJab's early characters, back when JibJab was pure, crude, and edgy; back before they had a viral hit during the 2004 Presidential campaign with a video called "This Land." JibJab subsequently pulled back all of their most offensive content and recalibrated instead for mere Simpsons-level irreverence.
It's pretty hard to find Nasty Santa online anymore. Gone are the classics "Who's Your Papua?," "Dr. Pecker: Proctologist," "Miracle on 234th Street" and of course, "Silent (But Deadly) Night."
Yes, JibJab still features a Santa character, but he has toned it way, way down.
And my Nasty Santa toy is packed away in my storage unit half a world away.
The other day I was on my commute home from work in Antananarivo, when what to my wondering eyes did appear...
|"Crack the holidays with all your teeth." It's not funny in French either.|
It's Nasty Santa! In all his bare-chested glory, and peddling snack crackers. I had some Salto crackers today, and just like the Nasty Santa I fondly remember, there were tasteless.
But if JibJab is going to sanitize you and sweep your crude, but funnier, past under the rug, you could do worse than retiring in Madagascar.
Note that the opinions expressed here are solely my own and do not reflect any position of the U.S. government or the Peace Corps.